I Was Adopted. But That's Not Where My Story Ends.

I was adopted.

Four words.

They tell you something incredibly important about me.

But they don't tell you everything about me.

And learning the difference between those two things has been part of my journey.

Adoption Is an Origin Story, Not an Entire Identity

When you're adopted, parts of your story existed before you had any ability to understand them.

Someone made decisions.

Circumstances happened.

Families changed.

A life began.

And eventually you're old enough to start asking questions about a story that technically belongs to you—but that other people may know more about than you do.

Who am I?

Where did I come from?

Why?

Who do I look like?

Who do I sound like?

Where do I belong?

Those questions aren't necessarily rejection of the family that raised you.

Sometimes they're simply questions.

And adoptees should be allowed to ask them.

Two Things Can Be True

One lesson I keep returning to is that adoption can hold multiple truths at the same time.

You can love the family who raised you and wonder about the family you came from.

You can be grateful and grieve.

You can feel completely loved and still experience questions about identity.

You can appreciate your story and wish parts of it had been different.

Human emotions don't always arrive one at a time.

Adoption doesn't have to be reduced to either:

“What a beautiful story!”

or:

“What a terrible thing!”

Sometimes it's complicated.

Sometimes it's both.

Sometimes it's neither.

Sometimes it's simply your story.

Who Am I Beyond What Happened to Me?

This became an important question for me.

Because adoption explains something about my beginning.

It doesn't get to write every chapter afterward.

I'm a mother.

I'm a woman.

I'm a creator.

I'm a person of faith.

I'm an entrepreneur.

I'm a storyteller.

I'm someone who loves people, brands, community and connection.

I'm also adopted.

These things don't compete.

They're roots and branches belonging to the same tree.

That's part of why I named this journey Planted on Purpose.

Something can be planted somewhere unexpected and still grow.

Roots can be complicated.

Growth can be messy.

And something beautiful can still bloom.

Why I'm Talking About It Publicly

For years, pieces of this story belonged mostly to me.

But eventually I realized that telling it might help somebody else find language for their own experience.

Maybe an adoptee.

Maybe an adoptive parent.

Maybe someone considering adoption.

Maybe someone who has never experienced adoption but knows exactly what it feels like to wonder:

Where do I belong?

Because that's where this story becomes bigger than adoption.

Belonging is human.

Identity is human.

The desire to understand where we came from is human.

This Is Where Planted on Purpose Begins

I'm not interested in presenting myself as the spokesperson for every adoptee.

There isn't one universal adoption experience.

This is my perspective, my story and my journey.

And I'm still learning from it.

Planted on Purpose is where I'm going to talk about the questions.

The search.

The uncomfortable parts.

The beautiful parts.

Identity.

Family.

Faith.

Healing.

Purpose.

And what happens when you stop asking only:

“Why did this happen to me?”

and eventually begin asking:

“What can grow from it?”

I was adopted.

That's where part of my story begins.

But it is nowhere near where my story ends.

KEEP BRANCHING

By Hadassah “Das” Collier

Founder, Das Effect LLC | Creator of Make Being Yourself Cool Again | Host of Das It & Planted on Purpose