What Does It Actually Mean to Be Yourself?

There is a phrase we throw around all the time:

“Just be yourself.”

It sounds simple.

Until you actually try to do it.

Because being yourself sounds great until being yourself makes you different.

Until your opinion isn't the popular one.

Until your clothes don't look like everybody else's.

Until your career doesn't make sense to other people.

Until you're too loud for one room and too quiet for another.

Until the person you're becoming doesn't match the person everyone remembers.

That's when “just be yourself” becomes a little more complicated.

And that's exactly why I started saying:

Make Being Yourself Cool Again.

Somewhere Along the Way, We Started Performing

We live in a world where we have more opportunities than ever to show people who we are.

Yet somehow, it has also become incredibly easy to perform a version of ourselves.

We can see what's trending before deciding what to wear.

We can see which opinions are popular before sharing ours.

We can watch what gets engagement before deciding what we're going to post.

Without realizing it, we can start asking:

Will people like this?

instead of:

Do I like this?

Those are two very different questions.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying trends, getting inspiration from someone else or evolving with culture.

The problem begins when you can no longer tell where the influence ends and you begin.

Being Yourself Doesn't Mean Staying the Same

This part matters.

Authenticity doesn't mean:

“This is who I've always been, so this is who I have to remain.”

You're allowed to change.

You're allowed to learn.

You're allowed to mature.

You're allowed to discover something at 20 and change your mind at 40.

You're allowed to outgrow people, habits, careers, beliefs and versions of yourself.

Being yourself isn't about remaining frozen in one identity.

It's about being honest about who you are now.

I have been many things.

A mother. A manager. A radio host. A brand manager. A podcast host. A creator. An entrepreneur.

And I'm still becoming.

None of those versions cancel the others.

They're branches of the same tree.

Authenticity Isn't Always Comfortable

Sometimes being yourself means walking into a room where nobody looks like you.

Sometimes it means starting over.

Sometimes it means admitting:

“This doesn't fit me anymore.”

And sometimes being yourself means disappointing people who had already decided who you were supposed to be.

That's difficult.

But there is a cost to constantly performing too.

You can become incredibly good at being the person everyone likes and eventually realize that you don't recognize her.

That's a price I'm no longer interested in paying.

So What Does Being Yourself Actually Look Like?

It can be surprisingly ordinary.

It looks like wearing what you actually like.

Laughing the way you laugh.

Saying no when you mean no.

Trying the thing you've been talking yourself out of.

Changing direction.

Setting boundaries.

Admitting you don't know.

Being excited about something other people don't understand.

Allowing yourself to be both a work in progress and worthy right now.

It means making decisions from your identity instead of constantly negotiating your identity with the room.

Here's My Challenge to You

Ask yourself three questions:

What do I genuinely like?

Not what's popular. Not what people expect. What do you like?

Where am I performing?

Where do you notice yourself becoming a different version of yourself just to be accepted?

And finally:

What would I do differently if I wasn't worried about looking uncool?

That answer might tell you something.

Because maybe the coolest thing you can become isn't someone everybody notices.

Maybe it's someone you recognize.

That's what Make Being Yourself Cool Again® means to me.

Not rebellion for rebellion's sake.

Not refusing to grow.

Not believing you never need to change.

It means creating a world where authenticity isn't something we celebrate only after someone becomes successful.

We celebrate it now.

Your weird.

Your story.

Your differences.

Your evolution.

Your voice.

You.

Let's make that cool again.

KEEP BRANCHING

By Hadassah “Das” Collier

Founder, Das Effect LLC | Creator of Make Being Yourself Cool Again | Host of Das It & Planted on Purpose